This Season

I see a lot of people enjoying the holidays with all their smiles and celebrations with family, friends and relatives. Everyone looks like they are in a jolly and happy mood whenever this season comes even though it is such a short while but they look like they are having a blast. People visit other people, people exchange happy moments and just listening to their conversations is enough to know that they are enjoying their selves this season.

As for me, this holiday is a piss off through out. I am sick of being out of the circle because of circumstances which becomes a piss off in the end. I have been patient and I try to be good but in the end, I end up the one suffering. I cannot pull myself out of it because there is no other way whenever I think of a way out. I am sick of being the only one who is the odd one out and I have to dig my way through just to understand and know what is happening between things. I am sick of being the last to know on things and being the one being pitied but it is too late to do anything.

I honestly cannot do anything but just merely say FUCK IT. I could go on with this rant but I will not. There is no point on spewing out like this, it will not change anything. All this does is share how negative I am inside and when this is read, people will start wondering if I am OK or if I need a shoulder or some crap like that. What ever is in my mind and what ever is in my chest... it has been damaged and rattled enough for me to know that I cannot fix it to put it back together in a simple manner. This excerpt is not even quarter of what I am feeling inside because if I splurge any more, I will probably say something that I wish I did not say so I will stop right here for now.

I quit everything.

`~CheckedOut!